A Blooming Whisper...

Last week, Miss Isabel interviewed me for her diary... Here are my answers to her questions...

Hi dear friends!

I hope you're doing well and I’m glad that you're doing this little "pit stop" to fill yourself up with some food for thought; a fresh perspective and an occasion to feed hope and passion in your life. This weekend we had the chance to participate in a live chat with a very special topic: the "I Just Want You To Know" lyrics. Alex was ready to answer all questions about it and most of all he brilliantly opened up about, what in his life, he wanted us to know... his heart, his struggles, his desire to live free from his past boundaries and illusions. I left a couple days pass and I asked him a couple questions to get even deeper in what he lived; to see how that sharing was so important to him.

Read carefully and think. Think how you can relate to his experience and how you deal or want to deal your things the same or differently and why not share about it?

I believe amazing things can grow if we let true words coming from a loving heart to be seeded into our soul...Alex asked me to share these seeds with you... it's up to us to let them penetrate our soul and mind.

-Miss Isabel



Hi Alex!

I have a couple questions for you concerning the live chat we had all together a couple days ago.

You often do videos, Q&A, blogs and facebook stories revealing parts of who you are; sharing what's in your head and in your heart. But it's the first time you were doing a very personal LIVE interview about something even more personal: your lyrics.

Why at this point do you want to open up in such way, so open and exposed?

I think, I've been hiding for a long time... for many reasons...good or bad. I still have my own demons and my own doubts; the emotional winter has been quite long for me. So long, that at one point, I felt more secure being secluded and isolated than actually seeking a bit of spark to set me free from my own illusions and make-belief. My recurrent physical illness and mental degradation was only feeding that sense of alienation I was feeling towards the gravitation of my spirit accepting the abandonment of my will to care about life any longer.

I was turning a lie I've heard so many times being professed over my head into a self-desconstructive truth...I guess whatever had to fit…fits. I wasn't a victim; I was simply coping out from a world I built myself into... kind of illusive and delusional, but I decided it was time to let go. Being open and exposed isn't easy for me and never will. But after being dead for so long... I decided it was time for me to fully embrace the new season that I was truly in and to receive the love gently sent my way by so many amazing people. The raging winter of my fears was overcome by love in many ways and I think that for me, sharing my lyrics was a wonderful occasions to feel the breeze of that new blooming season.

We were all in the room when you were about to start the live interview and chat...you were surprisingly comfortable, calm and anticipating with excitement what was about to take place.
Can you explain what journey you had to walk or what obstacles you had to overcome to get there?

Nothing, but what has already been settled in my personal life…like I wrote recently to a very special friend of mine who was wondering what was the nature of what seemed to be a permanent state of grief residing in my eyes... "I'm not misunderstood, I'm ecstatically sad at time"...lol... a lie that had been told too many times becomes a truth for many and I didn't want to become that lie or some rock n roll cliché.

I was comfortable; because I knew it wasn't about me...it was about creating life through words that weren't simply mine anymore. I was one of millions and it was exciting... to let the words be the catharsis of what needed to be freed from. And in many ways, I've been freed from many things through the whole process...from writing the music, to the lyrics, the performance and all the interviews that came with it. Words truly have the power to heal when they are sketched with compassionate colours and lay over a canvas of communion...that's what I felt...

Would that link with what you said during the chat: "I just Want You To Know" helped me heal unsettled wounds in my life"? Was the creation of this specific song a major turning point?

I believe that waking up every single day with my hands open is a daily major turning point...I have rarely been able to let go. I grew up in the mist of constant surrounding of violence and I turned that violence towards myself for the most part of my life...writing from a personal point of view isn't easy when you want to fully let go and it has never been easy for me to write in that regard. That song is part autobiographic of those wounds and part reflection of other people's pain, but it doesn't have the same tone as the previous songs I've written...truth could be pretty messy, but the way you deal with that mess could be very positive…"I Just Want You To Know" is very positive…not a happy go lucky type...that's for sure, but real in every way and knowing that "I Just Want You To Know" is clearly one of the fruits that bloomed out my decision to embrace life, makes it a very important one indeed...

You said that “I just Want You To Know” lyrics were created from a very personal place where dreams seemed so far away...How important is it for the song to relate to your personal story now that the world can sing it?

Cause I'm one of the millions...

What is the first thing you thought when:

1. You woke up the morning of the chat?

That I was very fortunate to be able to share with the people I love; knowing how many people don't, at the very least, have a right to whisper. I felt humbled towards that and really grateful…love, when taken for granted, becomes the rape of somebody else's innocence...

2. You were about to start the chat?

As I was observing the incredible dedication of the team members working with so much dedication to make sure everything was perfect...I simply thanked God for having such a fabulous family and simply lived the moment...

3. You saw so many people participating?

I didn't pay attention to such details in particular...neither do I care about numbers in general...it might be cool when you need to feed your ego out of those vain details, but for me, being able to share with people I love was enough of a moment to open myself without any fears or insecurities...it was real.

4. Big Byrd said "CUT" at the end of the chat?

I was peaceful...

5. When you finally went to bed and at what time?

I don't actually remember the time I went to bed...it's always too late anyway, but I do remember thinking, that for every single person being treated like noise, I know that somebody will join and together they will make sounds out of any rejection they ever felt before, because we really are more than noise. I imagined millions of people in the streets creating such a powerful sound, that barriers of oppression, indifference, apathy and abandonment will crumble and that even those rocks will scream their joy of being free... isn't that what is going on in the world now?

What in this first experience makes you want to do it again with other lyrics?

I don't know, I have never really been into trying to recreate a moment…Especially one that has been so pure. We'll see if I have something to add regarding other lyrics and if people might be interested in sharing and exposing themselves again. As I said, a moment like that isn't something you take for granted. It’s not mine, that's why I felt so privileged to do so, because it wasn't about me... but about creating life!

You want to share anything about these quotes of yours?

1. "We're so much more than noise"...means for Alex that you might be only noise for some people BUT...
2. Your favorite line of the new song "Faith is pretty much like pain...it's hard to let it go all at once"
3. "perfect balance between emotional breakdown and hopeful colors"

I think it should be for the people reading your diary to define or redefine those quotes, because those lyrics are ours now and I'll be blessed to witness the sparks of life that will overflow out of it...the beauty of words remain their ability to empower those willing to be...

I Just Want You To Know

Don’t you wish for wings to fly
To blow yourself away from lies

Tell me, don’t you dream for will to scream
To keep your grief from mournful colors
(your head out of the water)

I just want you to know
We’re all feeding illusions,
Aren’t we all the same
Hopeless whispers sketching love
From all the shame
We’re so much more than noise

Don’t you wish for sounds to last
To raise your voice to reach the sky 
Tell me, don’t you crave for strength to cry
To get your light a drifting blast

I know that you can’t stand these feelings anymore
It’s killing you, it’s killing you inside, it’s killing you inside

I know that you can’t stand these feelings anymore
It’s killing you, it’s killing you inside, killing you inside

I just want you to know
We’re all feeding illusions,
Aren’t we all the same
Hopeless whispers sketching love
From all the shame
We’re so much more than noise

I’m wondering if there’s a place to lay down
To feel the ground within the wounds of desperation
I’ve prayed once, got through the door, to touch His crown
Faith is pretty much like pain, hard to let go all at once
I guess comfort remains somewhere higher, so much higher
Until we got there, I guess we’re nothing but public show,
Guess, we’re all waiting for someone else’s voice to call us home

I just want you to know
We’re all feeding illusions,
Aren’t we all the same
Hopeless whispers sketching love
From all the shame
We’re so much more than noise

FAITH IS A HALO FOR COLORBLIND

Voyage À La Mer Part 1.

My dear friends, brothers and sisters, I hope you’re doing great… I hope that autumn’s colorful lights are covering your hearts with a profound warmth of jubilation and happiness… I feel like I was with you only a few minutes ago… I still can feel the breeze of joy coming my way as I was witnessing your luminescent smiles and hearing the cheerful sound of your laughter… it’s wonderful to close my eyes and still be able to experience the vivid sensation of your welcoming heart, perfuming my soul with a vibrant assurance of being home… it’s fabulous to lay my head on the lap of memory knowing I’m a brother, a son and a lover, getting back home after a long travelling journey to find myself, to find my way back to you… to reach my way back to where I always felt free… to where I always felt secure enough to get on my knees and surrender to love and dreams… to where I’m safe enough to let go of everything that kept holding me back from all the fears I’ve kept feeding deep inside… after you, I know I’ll never be alone… and I don’t need to run away from freedom… because you showed me that it’s possible to let go of everything blackening my vision from the receiving those shiny moments gracefully coming my way… many times I stumbled down to the ground… but there’s nothing like being home… and for me, “Voyage À La Mer” has been going back home… from the city of own doubts to the ocean of your mercy… I’m born again.

For many reasons, the seed of “Voyage À La Mer” have been evolving from the reflection of troubling moments I was going through a year ago… I was physically really sick, my cheerful spirit was outnumbered by deeply saddened emotions, my soul was clouded by a profound sorrow… my faith was fading and so was my desire to cover my grief with fake smiles… I was so exhausted… I was so profoundly sad that it’s still impossible for me to recall most of what happened for several months… I was unable to feel anything… I was shameful of being so weak… I was lost in the shadow of everything I had once believed in and the illusions they became over time… I vaguely remember having daubed any scenery… I hardly remember having written any words… I don’t have any souvenirs of hearing the sound of my own voice for weeks… I was wondering if life could fade away from being heart broken… could hope vanish from dreamlessness… could a soul's lights turn off from too much darkness… could it be the end before time runs out of time… I realized that sometimes, the valley of desperation could be a long journey away from where you initially intended to go to find peace and fulfillment on the shiny dawn you left home… hopelessness remains a long way back home, when you’re lost in the middle of your own illusions… every direction leads to confusion and doubts… and searching incessantly to revisit my past, I had to accept that it’s an impossible journey… the longest journey of all ain’t the tight path leading to the fulfillment of our dreams, but the large road of regrets we're coming from, because no matter how far we go, no matter for how long we’re walking and no matter how determinate we are to go back in time… pain from the past and all the regrets coming with it are impossible to reach out... as deep as we go inside… pain from the past and all the regrets coming with it are impossible to reach out… they are part of who we become… part of the evolvement of our soul… and I was asking myself, should we deny the true nature of who we became as we grow out of joy… is our spirit still alive if we’re living in some emotional reclusion… was I alive or was I covering my misery with songs I wasn’t able to bear fruits of life from no more…

At night, happiness’ agony could deeply lead to fearful lands… but in the light of morning, somehow I realized that redemption from my pain of the past and the regrets coming with was a gift impossible to receive without having a real desire of salvation… a real desire of living to the fullest… to welcome life again… to base my existence on half a real reason to believe in the truthful meaning of witnessing another blissful tomorrow… to believe I could find hope in the brightness dreams of having a vision… to find peace in the redemption of my mourning soul… and as I was ready to slowly let go on any hopeful dawns… I saw my life turned into a ribbon of paper flying over the raging waves of the ocean… I saw that ribbon lifted through the wind before becoming one with the ocean… from a fragile and vacillating little piece of paper ribbon… my life turned into the eternal nature of the ocean… powerful, impetuous, compassionate, and merciful… and I understood that hope, dreams and peace ain’t about the happiness of turning lights to myself… but into joining my shivering light to others in order to live… in order for faith to become a bright halo for the colorblind such as I the one I've always been myself… so even if we can’t escape the nature of our past and regrets, as the wave we became, the tides of life will rise again and again and again… so begings “Voyage À La Mer”…

--------

Don't miss Alex’s blog “Voyage À La Mer” second part called:

AWAKENING IS A VIEW FROM WITHIN

HELLO, I'M ALEX...

"Stranger to my own heart"

Well, I guess I have to say hi... even if sometimes I rather let the echoing chaos of my thirsty soul resonate to my own displeasure... for this first post, I would simply say "Hello, I'm Alex"... you may have seen me around throwing microphone stands through music club windows, might have heard me scream for social justice or read a few words of my "open letters" posted in my band's blog section "through the eyes of ruins"... strange to admit, but it felt like a life time since being somehow active in that some kind of public blabbing confusion of my own.. Passion for words never failed me; desires to communicate sometimes did... so let's see where it leads me... I might not find myself being quite an interesting persona, but I can be quite entertaining at times... lol...

To be quite honest, I don't know if it's based out of desperation or if it's out of a true desire to give a try to that therapeutic and psychological trash theory regarding the spiritual liberation associated with sharing your soul to the universe that I'm getting back to blogging after such a long season of silence... since my dog Shadow died, I never really felt any particular emotions worth sharing... so writing words for the sake of writing words never been my style... I never believed in those theories of self-righteous-exposure and spiritual-public-masturbation... never been a fan of those spirit easing miracle peddlers standing at every misery street corner holding flyers with a total absence of empathy for the ones they’re seeing as lost, neither did I kneel before any awarded holy hero selling redemption in cheap shinny chroming religious vending machines only open for Sundays' cash-in… but since I've always been an optimistic freak believing in the empowering liberation of words... I’ll give it a try...

Alright, long story short... even if a long story short always tends to get way much longer with me anyway... I don't have any idea or any plan whatsoever regarding that new blabbing journal of mine... I might share about creation, music, lyrics, dogs, human rights, love and hate, studio, personal illusions, the upcoming album... I don't know... I guess it will simply be filled with moments, for what I consider a moment should be about... might be a few lines everyday... might be some never ending drama... I don't know... and that's the beauty of it... feeling somehow a little likes a stranger to my own heart, but as Shakespeare wrote, "the whole world's a stage"... so hey, let's start with "Hello, I'm Alex"...

Ps: stay tuned, major announcement coming up…