FAITH IS A HALO FOR COLORBLIND

Voyage À La Mer Part 1.

My dear friends, brothers and sisters, I hope you’re doing great… I hope that autumn’s colorful lights are covering your hearts with a profound warmth of jubilation and happiness… I feel like I was with you only a few minutes ago… I still can feel the breeze of joy coming my way as I was witnessing your luminescent smiles and hearing the cheerful sound of your laughter… it’s wonderful to close my eyes and still be able to experience the vivid sensation of your welcoming heart, perfuming my soul with a vibrant assurance of being home… it’s fabulous to lay my head on the lap of memory knowing I’m a brother, a son and a lover, getting back home after a long travelling journey to find myself, to find my way back to you… to reach my way back to where I always felt free… to where I always felt secure enough to get on my knees and surrender to love and dreams… to where I’m safe enough to let go of everything that kept holding me back from all the fears I’ve kept feeding deep inside… after you, I know I’ll never be alone… and I don’t need to run away from freedom… because you showed me that it’s possible to let go of everything blackening my vision from the receiving those shiny moments gracefully coming my way… many times I stumbled down to the ground… but there’s nothing like being home… and for me, “Voyage À La Mer” has been going back home… from the city of own doubts to the ocean of your mercy… I’m born again.

For many reasons, the seed of “Voyage À La Mer” have been evolving from the reflection of troubling moments I was going through a year ago… I was physically really sick, my cheerful spirit was outnumbered by deeply saddened emotions, my soul was clouded by a profound sorrow… my faith was fading and so was my desire to cover my grief with fake smiles… I was so exhausted… I was so profoundly sad that it’s still impossible for me to recall most of what happened for several months… I was unable to feel anything… I was shameful of being so weak… I was lost in the shadow of everything I had once believed in and the illusions they became over time… I vaguely remember having daubed any scenery… I hardly remember having written any words… I don’t have any souvenirs of hearing the sound of my own voice for weeks… I was wondering if life could fade away from being heart broken… could hope vanish from dreamlessness… could a soul's lights turn off from too much darkness… could it be the end before time runs out of time… I realized that sometimes, the valley of desperation could be a long journey away from where you initially intended to go to find peace and fulfillment on the shiny dawn you left home… hopelessness remains a long way back home, when you’re lost in the middle of your own illusions… every direction leads to confusion and doubts… and searching incessantly to revisit my past, I had to accept that it’s an impossible journey… the longest journey of all ain’t the tight path leading to the fulfillment of our dreams, but the large road of regrets we're coming from, because no matter how far we go, no matter for how long we’re walking and no matter how determinate we are to go back in time… pain from the past and all the regrets coming with it are impossible to reach out... as deep as we go inside… pain from the past and all the regrets coming with it are impossible to reach out… they are part of who we become… part of the evolvement of our soul… and I was asking myself, should we deny the true nature of who we became as we grow out of joy… is our spirit still alive if we’re living in some emotional reclusion… was I alive or was I covering my misery with songs I wasn’t able to bear fruits of life from no more…

At night, happiness’ agony could deeply lead to fearful lands… but in the light of morning, somehow I realized that redemption from my pain of the past and the regrets coming with was a gift impossible to receive without having a real desire of salvation… a real desire of living to the fullest… to welcome life again… to base my existence on half a real reason to believe in the truthful meaning of witnessing another blissful tomorrow… to believe I could find hope in the brightness dreams of having a vision… to find peace in the redemption of my mourning soul… and as I was ready to slowly let go on any hopeful dawns… I saw my life turned into a ribbon of paper flying over the raging waves of the ocean… I saw that ribbon lifted through the wind before becoming one with the ocean… from a fragile and vacillating little piece of paper ribbon… my life turned into the eternal nature of the ocean… powerful, impetuous, compassionate, and merciful… and I understood that hope, dreams and peace ain’t about the happiness of turning lights to myself… but into joining my shivering light to others in order to live… in order for faith to become a bright halo for the colorblind such as I the one I've always been myself… so even if we can’t escape the nature of our past and regrets, as the wave we became, the tides of life will rise again and again and again… so begings “Voyage À La Mer”…

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Don't miss Alex’s blog “Voyage À La Mer” second part called:

AWAKENING IS A VIEW FROM WITHIN